There's empathy and then there's being an empath

The ability to understand, imagine and even share what someone feels is what being empathetic is all about. Researchers who study emotion boil down empathy to two types:

· Affective empathy: what we feel in response to others’ emotions—whether it is assurance, fear, happiness or anxiety.

· Cognitive empathy: what some refer to as “perspective taking”—how and what we understand or identify in others’ emotions.

For as long as I can remember, I have always felt deep connections with people regardless of the relationship. From as young as a single-digit age, through my teens and into adulthood, I was that individual who was extremely aware of people around me, absorbing their emotions or energy—positive or negative. I chalked it up to me being an intuitive person.

But I knew there was more to this. There had to be. I wasn’t just an empathetic person with a great deal of intuition. I was a highly sensitive person, feeling and knowing things with no plausible explanation. So, a few years ago, while looking for answers, I came across various reports and articles relating to “Are you an empath?” and decided to take a closer look.

Who is an empath? Renowned psychiatrist and empath Judith Orloff defines this person as someone who has the capacity to “feel and absorb other people’s emotions and/or physical symptoms because of their high sensitivities. They filter the world through their intuition and have a difficult time intellectualizing their feelings.”

Boom! That’s me.

As with every person, the empath, too, has some weak traits:

· They can be overwhelmed by some relationships

· They are targets for energy vampires

· They are extreme ‘givers’ and not-so-good ‘takers’

So, what do I do to help myself when those weaknesses crop up?

· I make time for myself

• I recharge my batteries when my energy level is low

• I give more to myself rather than making sure others are covered

• I follow through on things I love like writing, drawing, cooking and spending time with friends (in a non-COVID-19 world)

· I connect with nature

· I practise mindfulness

Being an empath is not easy. I, like others, have had to learn to focus more on myself and give the time I need to do things for me. I’ve also had to put a system in place to protect myself from those energy vampires.

But what is beautiful, objectively speaking, is that empaths are extremely emotionally intelligent, make amazing friends and companions (note: we give YOU space because we need space just as much!), and are exceptional listeners. We are creative, big-hearted and generous to a T.

And in today’s world, I think it’s a pretty great thing to be.